What am I supposed to do?

September 25, 2006
(Almost October!?!)

One problem with blogging here on Kibbutz Ma’agan Michael is that nothing new happens, ever, from week-to-week. I could write about how Plasson’s unwrapping a giant toilet-maker on the production line or how some Israeli singer I might like to see is visiting the kibbutz later this week, or how I have saved enough ration points to eat Well thru the rest of September, but really, people, are those the kinds of things you want to learn from this site?

So despite a lovely Rosh Hashana weekend in Netanya with cousin Debbie & Co (see entry a few weeks ago for her family pic) I’m feeling lost in the ceaseless grind of the kibbutz. Our comings & goings remain numbingly similar to the way they were when we arrived almost two months ago. Remember Springsteen’s reflection…

I get up in the evening, and I ain’t got nothing to say.

I get home in the morning,

I go to bed feeling the same way.

I ain’t nothing but tired – Man I’m just tired and bored of myself.

Hey baby, I could use just a little help.

…not that life is utterly monotonous, but it can be like that. Uncomfortably Numb. I’m missing Stories – the kind that come from the crazy shit that kids my age do when they stop following the rules (just a little, at least) or when they innovate something and try to make it real – and while it’s partly my fault for not taking much initiative these days, it’s also the place itself and the people here. Hanging out with a bunch of eighteen-year-old partykids can be OK, but more often than not I’ll opt out. Not that I’m proud of any antisocial habits, but it’s almost reflexive.

Case in point, last night: I’m walking back to my room from the coffee lounge after what had turned into a long day of online research on traveling, and I run into Jonathan – a nice guy & one of my favorite Mexicans (there are around 25 in the Ulpan, all just graduated from the same high school) – who invites me to another Mexican’s room for a “party.” So I figure why not and follow him, a minute later emerging into a moth-hole of a room (15x15?) brimming with drunk Mexican dudes, maybe three chics (18, 18 and 17), a bottle of Jeger and now me. The Mexican guys are lecturing me on how I can’t leave until I’m drunk, and I’m thinking, this just isn’t worth it. I’ll warm up to the idea of drinking myself under the table packed between 20 bellowing back-smacking Mexican ulpanists about as fast as most of those peachy-faced kids will grow a mustache. Not that I hold anything against the Mexicans, really… what would you have done?

Eventually, boredom & financial straights pay off. “Activities” include planning for Jan 1 – the day my stay here ends – calling old friends, etc. Vanessa visits for the second week of January, and there may be others stopping in, too (which, if you potential Israel travelers are reading, would be Excellent). Cheap flights in Europe – check out Ryanair.com, for example – and cheap stays in places like Turkey are the kinds of things that get my juices flowing these days. There’s also a ton to consider re: What Is Ben Going To Do Come April??

At the end of the day, there are things to do here, maybe even things that are in some way kind of new, but presently the kibbutz has changed into a staging point for the rest of my trip. Does that sound pathetic? I’ll work on it.

PS My latest “thing:” videocaming on Skype. Check me out as I ponder over live conference calls, videocam-style.